Carta XXXVI

It all began with an e-mail. An e-mail I shouldn’t have seen, but then if Ididn’t how could I’ve know?

How could I know how much you make someone happy, how could I know how a fantastic lover you are, how addictive you oddly are?

But (there’s always a but) and when we argue? And when you talk about her to hit me and make me feel bad?

How can I forget your ominous gesture? With your sweet words? With your promises of eternal love?

The truth is that I can’t be without you, I don’t know how, I don’t know why, I wish I’d know…

I could have run from you, I wanted to several times.

As an excuse I used her words.Because sometimes I wish that they are true, even if you say they’re not, even you if you say that you love me unconditionally and that I’m not like she says.

I beg you to swear, in tears I beg you to swear that I’m not insane, in tears I beg you to make me understand the point of some many meaningless sentences. I dont’ understand, I can’t understand why am I still here, with you, I surely can't.

Por Abelha.

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Obrigada, mais uma vez à Abelha.

E obrigada a todos pelas cartas que me mandam.

Ainda tenho algumas para postar mas caso queiram, podem sempre enviar as vossas.